There are some secrets so terrifying that they should never be published; the truth behind great green stone city of R’lyeh, the real colour of space and what exactly the filling in mini rolls is.
But no secret has been more heavily guarded than the sex lives of penguins, which are apparently so scandalous that when they were originally observed by ornithologists in 1911 it was said the findings should never be published.
Unfortunately for those ill fated ornithologists it’s no longer 1911 it’s 2017 and society has been through something of a sexual awakening in the last century, so how bad can it be?
Well according to Dr George Murray Levick who observed the penguins things were pretty bloody dreadful with the cute birds committing rape, gang rape, sexual and physical abuse of chicks along with necrophilia.
Thankfully it’s not all penguins, well it may be, but Dr Levick only observed Adélie penguin who you may know as the tiny cute penguins with the beady eyes.
Levick believed that this ‘astonishing depravity’ was caused by hooligan males’ and to make sure no one ever decoded his findings he wrote his notes in Greek so the secrets could never be discover
Except by anyone who spoke Greek of course… bit short sighted to be honest Doc.
Despite this code being solvable by the 13 million estimated people who can speak Greek the notes were only translated in 2012, and basically they ruined Pingu and Happy Feet for everyone.